Epic Smoke Apple on a Stick Review

Brand/Flavor:
Epic Smoke Apple on a Stick

Methodology:
-20 hits/person over 25 minutes
-3 people in the circle
-Mya Staff filled with ice water, heba diffuser attached
-2 CocoNara coals on a Mya bowl

First Impressions:
Cut kinda like Romman, but very very juicy. Sweet but tart smell. Nifty plastic tub.

Post Mortem:
I forget.

Pros:
-Caramel flavor was nice, when we had it

Cons:
-Caramel flavor frequently absent
-Apple flavor was kinda sour
-Generally just not much flavor

Andrew's Thoughts:
This was a fairly "meh" experience, beginning to end. The smell of the stuff in the tub was mildly interesting, sweet like caramel with a tangy finish, but the flavor didn't even deliver that. While I occasionally tasted some good caramel sweetness, I was generally treated to little more than thoroughly rinsed green apple peel. If I seem reluctant to recall this experience, it's because it really wasn't worth recalling.

Oh, and that diarrhea thing it did when we lifted up the bowl was just flippin' freaky.

Eric's Thoughts:
I've seen this stuff online and Andrew and I have joked about how the name is somewhat silly in the past, but when I saw it at a local tobacconist, I decided to buy some. Given their limited flavor selection, I went with something completely novel, caramel apple. The smell was very sweet, and definitely caramel, but I didn't get too too much apple. But given the way a caramel apple tastes, caramel is typically the dominant flavor, so I guess I can't fault the manufacturers for that. While the smoke did kind of live up to his over the top name, the flavor simply wasn't there. There were intermittent bursts of a sweet sugary caramel flavor that, when present, was quite intense, it simply wasn't consistent. Very frequently we would find ourselves searching for a flavor that we knew probably was there, but just wasn't coming through. A note about this, when we lifted the bowl to go clean it out, we found that a huge amount of juice had in fact run down the bowl and pooled in the pan. And while this kind of drippage is expected with a Mya bowl, this amount was just ludicrious. Perhaps a phunnel bowl will fix this, but if it's not made to be smoked out of a regular bowl with any measure of success, it won't score any points from me. I'll keep experimenting with this stuff, but as it stands, it's just bland and boring for the most part.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
You know how after you eat a popsicle you can still taste a trace amount of its flavor on the stick? That’s what Apple on a Stick is like—smoking a stick that once held an apple.

Conclusion:
Not terrible, but not worth buying again. I imagine we'll finish the stuff at parties filled with people we don't really like.

C+

Al Fakher Golden Rose Review

Brand/Flavor:
Al Fakher Golden Rose

Methodology:
-26 hits/person for me and Eric, 12 for Caroline over 30 minutes
-3 individuals in the circle
-Mya Staff filled with ice water, heba diffuser attached
-2 CocoNara coals on a Mya bowl

First Impressions:
Looks pretty typical for Al Fakher tobacco, but smells fantastic. Quite juicy, much like the Golden Eskandarani Apple.

Post Mortem:
Still a little moist, might have gone a little longer with more coals.

Pros:
-Incredibly strong and complex flavor
-Smells every bit as good as it tastes
-Moderate to strong buzz

Cons:
-Possible issue with bowl duration

Andrew's Thoughts:

Having just reviewed the Golden Eskandarani, I had high hopes for the Golden Rose, and I was not disappointed. This stuff is fantastic, from beginning to end. The flavor is intoxicating, with a fruity sweetness and citrusy undertones that complement the rose perfectly. The thick clouds fill the room with a rosey perfume, which along with the moderate buzz left me quite sedated.

Though there was some question of how long the tobacco lasts, it seems from a few subsequent experiments that we probably could have kept this bowl going a little longer. In fact, it's very difficult to find any fault with this shisha at all. At worst, it occasionally errs on the side of too much flavor, which distorts the actual taste a little, but it's hardly noticeable. This is now easily one of my favorite tobaccos. Not only would I buy this flavor again, but it is going to replace Romman Rose in our regular lineup.

Eric's Thoughts:
When you take our satisfaction with rose flavored shishas, and cross that with our happiness with Al Fakher's Golden Apple Eskandarani, the resulting venn diagram would suggest that our next logical step would be to try Al Fakher's Golden Rose. This stuff smells much stronger than any rose we've ever had before, strong enough that I was slightly uneasy with its strength before we even started smoking it. Well all my fears were dashed the minute I started smoking it. This rose is by far the best rose I have ever had ever. Now I don't pretend to be some kind of rose shisha expert, but this is pretty much everything I wanted out of a rose shisha, strong sweet rose flavor, thick smoke and a knock your socks off buzz. I knew this stuff was really worthwhile the minute I found myself actively trying to look for problems and not coming up with much that couldn't be attributed to the fact that Andrew and I smoked this at near 4am and were both too tired or lazy to really take care of the coal. And even given our slightly half-assed heat management, the bowl still performed very well. I absolutely look forward to smoking this again, and once I run out, I will quickly buy more. This is a must buy for anyone who likes rose.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
I have been a huge fan of Romman Rose since I started smoking, and I didn’t think anything could beat it. The Golden Rose does though, and by a wide margin. The flavor is incredibly strong and very sweet. I definitely agree with Andrew on this one—I’m never smoking the Romman again.

Conclusion:
This is our first A tobacco. Need I say more? Unless you really don't like rose, go out and buy this. Now.

A

JM's Hookah Chocolate Review

Brand/Flavor:
JM's Hookah Chocolate

Methodology:
-30 hits/person over 40 minutes
-3 individuals in the circle
-Mya Staff filled with cold water, heba diffuser attached

First Impressions:
Smells incredible. The chocolate smell coming off this shisha is like sticking your head over a pan of freshly baked brownies and inhaling. The cut is small and choppy and the shisha is insanely wet. Dyed red, but not as bad as some other shishas.

Post Mortem:
Completely cooked through. Very little color to speak of. NO moisture. The finished shisha slid right out of the bowl and into the trash.

Pros:
-Tasty chocolate flavor
-Incredible brownie-like smell when smoking
-Thick smoke

Cons:
-Flavor could be a little stronger

Andrew's Thoughts:
For a first experience with a new brand, this was a good one. JM's Hookah tobacco seems to produce large, thick clouds, possibly as a result of its extremely fine cut. However, the flavor lasts a long time, unlike certain other fine shishas.

The flavor itself was fantastic. Though it wasn't the fatty, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate we all love, there was a strong unmistakeably chocolateyness to it that was delightful to smoke. While it was a little more watered-down than I might like, I can't imagine a chocolate tobacco getting too much better. Take the flavor combined with this stuff's intoxicating, brownie-baking aroma (especially while smoking it), and you have an indispensable new member of your regular shisha rotation.

Eric's Thoughts:
This was our first experience with JM's tobacco, but I'd heard good things about it even prior to purchasing it. But talk is talk, and I wanted to see if it could stand up to the hype. Simply put, yes it does, for the most part...The chocolate was incredibly sweet and very tasty, however, it wasn't quite chocolate chocolate. It was a wee bit artificial, however given that (as Andrew pointed out to me) a majority of the chocolate flavor comes from the fat content of chocolate, and since you can't smoke fat, what we're left with really is just sugar and cocoa. So that said, this Chocolate flavored shisha, given its limitations, tasted excellent. But what really surprised me was the smell. The entire room was filled with the smell of baking brownies to the point where my younger brother came in and asked what the chocolaty smell was. The smoke was very thick and fun to play with. All told, this stuff is amazing on its own and I'm incredibly excited to see what it can do when mixed with other flavors.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
Holy shit. This stuff is amazing—literally like smoking brownies, although I have to say that my absolute favorite thing about the Chocolate is the smell. It makes the entire room smell like someone is baking. Its also nice and smoky, and is a great mixer. My one (very tiny) problem is that the flavor isn’t quite as strong as I would like it to be, but that’s pretty easily forgiven when you count the smell.

Conclusion:
Thick smoke, great smell and delicious flavor, not to mention obvious mixability make this tobacco a big win in our book. JM's Hookah Chocolate shisha is a must-buy for anyone who likes both hookah and chocolate. Which had better include you.

A-

Our Shisha Labeling System

Kind and loyal readers, do I ever have a treat for you today: the Zookah! Triple-Patented Comprehensive Hookah Tobacco Storage and Labeling System. Also, pictures (though they aren't very good)!

This means that we don't, surprisingly, use the well-constructed and durable storage that most shisha comes packaged with, which generally consists of a torn plastic bag. In fact, we use canning jars and polypropylene tupperware to store our tobacco. While this isn't exactly revolutionary, we did come up with what we think is a rather creative labeling system, and I'd like to share it with you.

For most tobacco, we use small canning jars, Ball Quilted Crystal 4 Oz. Jelly Jars, specifically. For amounts up to about 75 grams, these are usually sufficient, but when we buy larger quantities we generally employ the 8 oz. version. Our labels for these are roughly circular cardboard cutouts, usually from the box the tobacco came in. We then apply magnetic tape generously, resulting in a fancible label that immediately latches on to your new container. Best part: since nothing is holding it on other than magnetism, you can easily pop it off and rinse out the container without damaging your artwork. Not to mention the sweet fridge magnet set you get outta this (pic soon, promise).









While this provides a simple, cheap, and dare I say elegant solution to the problem of tobacco identification 90 percent of the time, we do run into problems with shisha like Tangiers, whose need for acclimation and thorough mixing require a wide, flat container (think GladWare). It's worth noting that Eric of Tangiers suggests that you stick to polypropylene (recycling ID number 5) if you do this, as other plastics can affect the flavor of your tobacco. Since these containers generally do not have metal lids, we cannot simply stick magnets onto a piece of cardboard and be done with it. Rather, we have to stick magnets on the other side, too.









While the two magnetic strips on the underside of the lid appear to be attached, they are not: we want these containers to be fully washable, so those strips are held on by the force of the label on the other side. The duct tape you see on them is merely to cover their adhesive side, as we don't want them sticking to any of our shisha. This method has the downside of dropping your inner magnets in the tobacco every time you pull off the label, so we suggest not pulling off the label very often. Of course, you can just tape the magnets on, but then you have to be very careful when cleaning the lid.

When all is said and done, your containers will look like these:









Note that for the Tangiers labels we glued the paper label onto a piece of cardboard before adding the magnets for a bid of structural integrity. Also, please forgive the terrible photographs, we had all of five minutes to shoot them before Caroline's AA-powered stallion of a camera crapped out. Hopefully we shall get more batteries soon.

-Andrew

Fumari Mango Review

Brand/Flavor:
Fumari Mango

Methodology:
-28 hits/person over 40-45 minutes
-3 individuals in the circle
-2 CoCo Naras on standard Mya bowl
-3 hose Mya Staff filled with cold water with a small Heba diffuser

First Impressions:
Packed in a sleek, resealable pouch, the tobacco smelled strong and fruity, and was extremely juicy. It appeared much like Romman, undyed and moderately cut.

Post Mortem:
Mostly cooked, but still quite dry, especially in comparison with how it started.

Pros:
-Lots of flavor (bowl would not die)
-Fairly accurate mango flavor (at times)

Cons:
-Unpleasant "saltiness" present at various levels throughout the session

Andrew's Thoughts:

Given that we've tried three or four TERRIBLE mangos already, I wasn't expecting a lot from the Fumari, but I had heard good things about both the brand and flavor, so what the hell. The lack of dye, juiciness, and fruity flavor all boded well for this shisha, but alas that failed to translate to a pleasant smoking experience.

While the smoke itself started off a little weak, it quickly thickened up, and for a little while I was blowing sweet, thick clouds, with only a hint of salt in the flavor. However, as the session continued, the flavor became more and more salty, while the mango flavor started to peter out. In fact, we ended up killing the bowl not when the "flavor" disappeared, but when it seemed we were inhaling seawater.

The fact that most mango tobaccos are bad doesn't make this one good. However, if you ARE hell-bent on smoking some mango, this is probably the best you are going to do (at least, in our experience).

Eric's Thoughts:

So I had read somewhere on the intarwebs that Fumari made one of the only worthwhile mango flavors out there. And because I have never ever ever had a good mango flavored shisha in my life, I decided I had to give this a try. Now before I go on to talk about Fumari, let me talk about what I've encountered from other mango flavored shishas. For just about all offerings I've had prior, the flavor has never been good. Forget accuracy, the flavor has oftentimes been downright disgusting. Every other mango flavored shisha I've had has been plagued by a bizarre saltiness that I simply cannot figure out. At first I always thought it was me, something I had done, but after disappointing showings time and time again, I started to realize that it wasn't my fault, something about the mango flavoring is innately salty for some reason.

Now Fumari had a decent flavor, still sporting the saltiness that is characteristic of most of the other mango shisha's I'd have prior, but to a lesser extent. So that wasn't horrible. It was reasonable sweet and fruity. Not the most accurate flavor, but still decent. Now here's where it takes a turn for the strange. As the bowl got further and further along, the flavor actually got stronger for me. I can't account for this either, and while this would be normally considered a good thing, the salty flavor got stronger as well. This made the bowl practically unsmokable, and after a few more rounds, we called it quits. Bottom line is, the best mango flavored shisha so far, but still not a great mango shisha.

Peanut Gallery:

(Caroline) This is the first mango I have smoked, and although I am told its better than that of other brands I am still not a fan. For the most part it was, well, fairly disgusting. Mango was definitely the dominant flavor, but it was incredibly salty and became progressively more so as time went on. The last hit I took tasted like nothing but salt and made me choke. Not something I would ever recommend to anyone.

Conclusion:

While it is far too finicky for us to recommend to the average smoker, anyone who is really interested in smoking mango tobacco should definitely give Fumari a shot.

B-/C+

Starbuzz X On The Beach Review

Brand/Flavor:
Starbuzz X on the Beach

Methodology:
-34 hits/person over 50-55 minutes
-3 individuals in the circle
-2 CoCo Naras on standard Mya bowl
-3 hose Mya Staff filled with cold water with a small Heba diffuser

First Impressions:
Bright red, soaked through with molasses. Looks almost like jelly, but this seems to be typical for Starbuzz. Smells very fruity, coconut and peach being most prominent.

Post Mortem:
Almost completely cooked, only a very small amount of color or moisture left.

Pros:
-Thick smoke
-Moderate buzz
-Strong, fruity flavor

Cons:
-Dyed a deep, monkey-butt red
-Vaguely artificial flavor

Andrew's Thoughts:
I was skeptical coming into this review, as our first experience with Starbuzz didn't exactly live up to the incredible amount of hype surrounding it. However, as X on the Beach is one of their most popular flavors (unlike Plum), I was ready to give this stuff a shot at surprising me.

While the smoke itself wasn't anything supernatural, it was certainly capable of producing large clouds consistently, which isn't nothing. It was also largely smooth, and I had no real issues smoking it for the duration of the bowl. The flavor, however, was not perfect: while I did enjoy the taste to a certain extent, I was felt it was vaguely plasticky and artificial, as though the entire experience was manufactured in a lab somewhere. My paranoia aside, it tasted strongly of peach, pineapple and coconut, and once I was able to settle into the session, I had quite a good time. So while I won't say this is something everyone should go out and grab, I will admit there is something to all those excitedly misspelled forum posts (just kidding internets, you know I love you).

Eric's Thoughts:
This flavor, of all the flavors we've had recommended to us, has probably been suggested the most. So I was rather looking forward to this. But the entire time, there was that little thought in the back of my mind "What if they're all wrong?" Now please don't misunderstand me. Again, it has to do with how I typically respond to hype. And it certainly wouldn't be the first time the internet has lied to me. But luckily this time, there wasn't much for me to criticize. The Starbuzz X on the Beach, while still sporting its unnatural red color, smelled incredible. And it tasted just as great. The flavors can only be described as coming in layers, each leading to the next, typically coconut to pineapple to peach. Now whether this phenomenon is my own inability to mentally combine the flavors together, or if this is actually a strangely partitioned flavoring is probably for you to judge for yourself. Suffice it to say, this shisha had an amazing flavor and great smoke and I will more likely than not be buying it again.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline) Decent stuff–nice and fruity, but not too sweet. Very coconut-y.

Conclusion:
Solid smoking, highly recommended for anyone who already enjoys Starbuzz shisha. If you're new to the stuff, probably not a bad place to start, as it seems everyone but Andrew (read: the pretentious twat) thinks this stuff is fantastic.

B+

Hydro Black Widow Review (Blackberry)

Brand/Flavor:
Hydro Black Widow (Blackberry)

Methodology:
-20 hits/person over 35 minutes
-4 individuals in the circle
-3 half used up CoCo Naras on standard Mya bowl
-3 hose Mya Staff filled with cold water with a small Heba diffuser

First Impressions:
The cut on Hydro is very fine, like grass clippings or even wood splinters soaked in syrup. The smell is pretty fruity and definitely a berry smell, but not quite blackberry.

Post Mortem:
Mostly blackened and almost completely dry, but it's hard to tell what this means given how dry this stuff started out.

Pros:
-Thick smoke by any standard
-No buzz

Cons:
-Flavor misses the mark
-That "hydro" aftertaste is kinda strong
-No buzz

Andrew's Thoughts:
Coming off our experience with Blue Viper, I had fairly specific expectations for this shisha: I was going to get thick, beautiful clouds, tasting strongly of sweet blackberry with just a hint of the "herbalness" that seems to be inherent to sugar cane-based smokeables. Unfortunately, this is not what I experienced when smoking Hydro Black Widow. Though I did get the familiar giant clouds, the flavor itself was overwhelmed by the grassy flavor of the Hydro base, with only a generic berry sweetness managing to come through. And while this bowl was nigh immortal (when we finally stopped it was due to the coals and our preferences rather than any limit imposed by the shisha), we simply had no desire to keep smoking. While I wouldn't go as far as calling this stuff disgusting, it certainly wasn't an experiment I'm itching to repeat.

Eric's Thoughts:
Every single time I smoke hydro, I'm impressed by the size and density of the clouds, so much so that I tend to forget that I'm smoking an herbal, which makes it just that much more amazing. Unfortunately, that is where the praises for this flavor stop. Now I don't quite know what a blackberry tastes like. I thought they were the same thing as black raspberries, maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. But despite my ignorance in the matter, I can say one thing definitively, this shisha did not taste like berry of any kind. I mean I would get slight hints of it here and there, but never once during the session did I say "This is definitely berry". Rather, the shisha tasted a generic sweet flavor and nothing else, like a sugary syrupy flavor, rather than a sweet berry flavor. And of course, the typical hydro wood-ish flavor was there again, and stronger this time too. Beyond that, the most frustrating thing was that the smoke smelled of berries, it just didn't taste that way. Bottom line is Hydro continues to deliver consistently good smoke, but the flavor was off by enough to make me say look at different flavors.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
Hydro seems to exclusively use flavors better suited for children’s chewable Tylenol. They are always ridiculously sweet and remind me of all the times I had a headache as a child.

The Blackberry was not an interesting flavor—it was mostly just sweet, and what little flavor there was closely resembled that of the Blue Viper. It did produce a decent amount of smoke (as Hydro usually does), but for me at least, that is not enough to completely redeem it. This is not a flavor I would willingly smoke again.

Conclusion:
While it certainly won't kill you, Hydro Black Widow leaves our desks without recommendation. Your more tolerant friends might appreciate it, but we doubt you will.

C+