King Moassel Pinana Review

Brand/Flavor:
King Moassel Pinana

Methodology:
-Al Fakher Solid 36" filled with ice water, Mya bowl, 2 Coco Naras
-3 people with 20 hits/person over 20 minutes

First Impressions:
Smelled like a weird hyper-artificial banana.

Post Mortem:
Still reasonably moist, probably about half cooked.

Pros:
-Produced lots of smoke

Cons:
-Smoke tasted like crappy tobacco

Andrew's Thoughts:
I got this for free, and I'm thoroughly unsurprised to say that this tobacco completely lived up to my lack of expectations. I could taste the tobacco itself vaporizing, as there was almost no flavor to speak of. What little there was could only be very tenuously described as a candy banana, but it could just as easily have been my imagination. It took serious effort to keep smoking this beyond the first round, and I'm not sure it was worth the years it probably took off my life.

Eric's Thoughts:
This pack of King Moassel was sent to us for free with Andrew's AF hookah. Now we had basically forgotten about this stuff. But, due to the less than perfect results the Tangiers had been giving us all night. After a while, we decided to just throw this stuff in a bowl and see what happened. It smelled like Runts bananas, if you know what that tastes like. Basically think of the most artificial banana flavor you've ever had, whether it was in Runts, liqueur or popsicle form. It basically tastes like that, only worse. Probably the only redeeming quality of this stuff was the smoke it produced, which was reasonably impressive. However, the large dense clouds of smoke was not nearly enough to offset the nasty taste in my mouth. Bottom line, will not buy again, probably won't ever smoke it again either.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
Banana-flavored horror. Do not buy.

Conclusion:
Recommending this to anyone would border on cruelty. Stay away.

D+

Hookah-Hookah Banana Review

Brand/Flavor:
Hookah-Hookah Banana

Methodology:
-5 hits/person across 10 minutes
-4 individuals in the circle
-40mm Golden coal offest holes with a ventilation hole opposite
-Foil rotated every couple hits
-Ophelia filled with ice water

First Impressions:
We got the Hookah-Hookah Banana as a shot, kindly donated by one David Sokolowski. Shisha was finely cut, slightly dry and quite oily. Smell was only vaguely reminiscent of bananas.

Post Mortem:
Though we only smoked for a very short time, we already saw the spectacular shriveling of the tobacco that we soon found typical of Hookah-Hookah shisha.

Pros:
-Moderately thick smoke

Cons:
-Little to no flavor
-Any flavor it had was completely unrelated to bananas
-No buzz

Andrew's Thoughts:
This flavor was not a pleasant introduction to Hookah-Hookah shisha. In fact, there was very little about it that was pleasant. To be sure, we got some good smoke out of it, but try as we might, all we got was a vague aluminum-like taste, soon followed by what I assume was the flavor of the tobacco itself, which was remarkably similar to wild rice. In short, there is nothing remotely bananaish about Hookah-Hookah Banana, and I cannot in good conscience recommend this shisha to anyone.

Eric's Thoughts:
Any hesitations I had in trying Hookah-Hookah shisha were pretty much confirmed. Admittedly it could have been far worse, but that by no means exonerates it from its sub-par performance. The smoke was pretty thick, but there was absolutely no flavor. The shisha itself seemed rather dry, and while this could be attributed to a "bad shot", I personally consider any sample of a shisha as indicative of that flavor as produced by that brand as a whole. And to claim that the shots are somehow exempt from this scrutiny is a cop out. Bottom line is, it smelled vaguely chemically like banana upon opening, but as a smoke, it produced no flavor.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline) It was kind of like smoking stale banana bread. Gross.

Conclusion:
Oily and weird before, chemical and bland during, and shriveled and bizarre after, Hookah-Hookah Banana is unlikely to satisfy even the least discriminating hookah lover.

D+

Rosetta Peach Passion Review

Brand/Flavor:
Rosetta Peach Passion

Methodology:
-10 to 15 hits per person over 20 minutes
-3 individuals in the circle
-40mm Golden coal, off-center holes with a larger ventilation hole opposite
-Foil rotated a few times per minute
-Ophelia filled with ice water

First Impressions:
When we first opened this in my kitchen, I had to go sit on the porch as the scent was overwhelming. Though difficult to identify at first, this smell is nearly identical to that of peaches and cream instant oatmeal (at least Andrew thinks so). The tobacco itself is a deep red, cut moderate to fine, and quite moist.

Post Mortem:
Since we stopped early (see below), this isn't terribly meaningful, but the tobacco was about half-cooked– still quite moist, and about 75% red.

Pros:
-Thick, fairly smooth smoke

Cons:
-Taste was a weird "peach oatmeal" at best, metallic and seriously unpleasant at its worst
-Very little buzz

Andrew's Thoughts:
I was quite pleased with myself when I identified the scent/flavor as Quaker "Peaches 'n' Cream" Instant Oatmeal, because that is exactly what it is... when it's "good". This shisha swiftly degenerated into alternately metallic and plasticky awfulness. While the smoke itself wasn't harsh and was good for blowing rings and the like, the awful flavor just made this tobacco intolerable, and we hung up the hose after only twenty minutes.

Eric's Thoughts:
I have to say that whenever I see shisha that is bright red, I get a bit nervous. This time, I think my hesitation was well founded. I bought this stuff at a local convenience store (Cousin's, $3/50 g) as an experiment in honey based shisha, and needless to say, it was quite the failed experiment. Not only is the flavor incredibly artificial and acrid, but the reasonable thickness of the smoke barely made up for it. I haven't stopped smoking a bowl halfway through before, but this was one time that Andrew and I simply couldn't take it. It was not pleasant to say the least. I would not suggest buying this to anybody, regardless of experience.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline) In addition to tasting like oatmeal, it made me nauseous--something moderately thick smoke just can't make up for.

Conclusion:
If you're interested in thick, smooth, plastic-oatmeal-flavored awfulness, we heartily recommend Rosetta Peach Passion. However, if you don't hate your tastebuds or your friends, stay the hell away.

D+