King Moassel Pinana Review

Brand/Flavor:
King Moassel Pinana

Methodology:
-Al Fakher Solid 36" filled with ice water, Mya bowl, 2 Coco Naras
-3 people with 20 hits/person over 20 minutes

First Impressions:
Smelled like a weird hyper-artificial banana.

Post Mortem:
Still reasonably moist, probably about half cooked.

Pros:
-Produced lots of smoke

Cons:
-Smoke tasted like crappy tobacco

Andrew's Thoughts:
I got this for free, and I'm thoroughly unsurprised to say that this tobacco completely lived up to my lack of expectations. I could taste the tobacco itself vaporizing, as there was almost no flavor to speak of. What little there was could only be very tenuously described as a candy banana, but it could just as easily have been my imagination. It took serious effort to keep smoking this beyond the first round, and I'm not sure it was worth the years it probably took off my life.

Eric's Thoughts:
This pack of King Moassel was sent to us for free with Andrew's AF hookah. Now we had basically forgotten about this stuff. But, due to the less than perfect results the Tangiers had been giving us all night. After a while, we decided to just throw this stuff in a bowl and see what happened. It smelled like Runts bananas, if you know what that tastes like. Basically think of the most artificial banana flavor you've ever had, whether it was in Runts, liqueur or popsicle form. It basically tastes like that, only worse. Probably the only redeeming quality of this stuff was the smoke it produced, which was reasonably impressive. However, the large dense clouds of smoke was not nearly enough to offset the nasty taste in my mouth. Bottom line, will not buy again, probably won't ever smoke it again either.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
Banana-flavored horror. Do not buy.

Conclusion:
Recommending this to anyone would border on cruelty. Stay away.

D+

Al Fakher Lemon Review

Brand/Flavor:
Al Fakher Lemon

Methodology:
-3 people, 40 hits/person over 40 minutes
-KM Kafae filled with cold water
-3 CocoNara coals on small Tangiers phunnel bowl

First Impressions:
Pretty choppy cut, dyed red and fairly moist. The smell is lemony, but strangely more herbal, kind of like a lemon Ricola cough drop.

Post Mortem:
Pretty moist, but very little left in the way of color.

Pros:
-Moderately pleasant lemon tea flavor (when detectable)
-None of the dry throat common to citrus flavors

Cons:
-Almost no taste at all

Andrew's Thoughts:
I wasn't expecting much out of this flavor, as we received it as a freebie from a very generous KBB, but I tried to suspend disbelief, as Al Fakher has treated us well before. The flavor was almost unnoticeable at first, and while it did strengthen over time, it never quite 'took off'. It tasted like a sweet, herbal lemon tea, and was fairly pleasant to smoke. However, I mostly felt like I was smoking a flavorless tobacco whose only purpose was practicing my smoke rings. While I won't have much trouble finishing off this pack, I just don't see myself spending money on this.

Eric's Thoughts:
When I opened the bag and took a sniff, I fully expected a nice natural lemon scent, clean and citrus-y, and while they certainly got the clean aspect of it down, that came at the cost of the lemon flavor, which to be honest, is kinda missing the point somewhat. Ever had lemon in your water before? That's kinda what this is like, nothing, but with a refreshing hint of lemon...if that refreshing hint of lemon was near unnoticeable half the time. The other half of the time, the lemon was there, but wasn't making any kind of real statement. So I guess if you're looking for a water with lemon shisha, this is the stuff for you. If you're looking for a flavor that doesn't intrude on your tastebuds, you can do worse than this, but in the end, it was big clouds and a whole lot of nothing else.

Conclusion:
Extremely light, lemony flavor makes Al Fakher Lemon a shisha we recommend only to the true minimalist. Enjoyable, but only barely.

C+

Golden Layalina Sweet Peach Review

Brand/Flavor:
Golden Layalina Sweet Peach

Methodology:
-28 hits/person over 50 minutes
-4 individuals in the circle
-Mya Staff filled with ice water

First Impressions:
This stuff comes in a kickass 50g tin, which you don't usually see. Very red and juicy, smells like an overripe peach.

Post Mortem:
Mostly cooked, still a little bit of moisture at the bottom.

Pros:
-Smells like a sweet peach
-Comes in an awesome tin

Cons:
-Tastes baked and artificial
-Unimpressive smoke/buzz

Andrew's Thoughts:
It may come in a bitchin' tin and smell sweet and peachy, but Golden Layalina Sweet Peach leaves a lot to be desired. At first, it tastes like a real "sweet peach", but that is soon replaced by a more "baked" flavor. It tastes thin and artificial, like cheap peach cobbler-flavored candy. While it was never overtly offensive, it was never quite pleasant, either. Neither the smoke nor the buzz warrant mentioning, leaving me thoroughly unimpressed with this flavor, though it compares quite well to Rosetta's disastrous attempt.

Eric's Thoughts:
Another peach flavored shisha, another missed mark. When this bowl started out, we tasted that same plastic-y gross taste that we had with the Rosetta shisha. We started questioning our own sanity, wondering if all peach flavors would be plagued by this nasty taste. Upon realizing though that the shisha was overheating a wee bit, and rectifying that particular situation, the flavor improved. Still not quite like biting into a ripe juicy peach, more like taking a swig of peach schnapps. You can definitely tell its a peach flavor, but its not a peach peach. Still though, despite its err on the side of the artificial, it was significantly better than the Rosetta, and thus at least warrants another look.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
As Andrew mentioned, the tin this stuff comes in is great and made me pretty excited to try it, as dumb as that sounds. I was horribly disappointed when I smoked it, though–it's very artificial-tasting. At best, the Peach is mediocre.

Conclusion:
Better than Rosetta, but that's not saying much. Not terrible, but we won't be buying this again.

C+

JM's Hookah Rum and Cola Review

Brand/Flavor:
JM's Hookah Rum and Cola

Methodology:
-Al Fakher Solid 36" filled with ice water, small Tangiers phunnel bowl, 3 Coco Naras
-2 people with 38 hits/person over 35-40 minutes

First Impressions:
Very finely chopped, very juicy and dyed a deep red, as seems to be typical of JM's. Smells like a strongly mixed rum and coke.

Post Mortem:
Thoroughly cooked in the top 60% of the bowl, still a decent amount of moisture at the bottom.

Pros:
-Both smells and tastes like a real "Cuba Libré", at least at first
-Big clouds

Cons:
-Taste dies off relatively quickly, leaving just bitterness

Andrew's Thoughts:
JM's Hookah Rum & Cola both surprised and disappointed me. On the one hand, it came remarkably close to an actual "rum and coke" flavor: it had a distinct herbal cola flavor, backed up by a tangy, rum-like cinnamon/vanilla. At first, I thoroughly enjoyed smoking it, as it produced thick, white clouds and a strong flavor. Unfortunately, as the bowl progressed that alcoholic tang that had at first been an interesting finish began to dominate, and soon all I could taste was this weird bitterness that tasted neither of rum nor cola. By the tenth round there was no real sweetness left, and by the time we stopped it was nigh unsmokeable. JM's Rum and Cola could have been so damn good, but in the end it was just unpleasant.

Eric's Thoughts:
In my opinion, this is probably one of the more difficult flavors to pull off. I mean, there are complex flavors and then there are complex flavors, this is the latter of the two. And while JM's gave it a valiant effort, I can't help but feel that they fell a wee bit short of the mark. The cola flavor was quite herbal and quite good, much like the Romman Cola that we've smoked in the past, it was the rum part that got a bit dicey. The smell was quite accurate to a captains and coke but the taste comes off as a bit chemical. And while one could argue that this makes it taste "alcoholic", I personally wouldn't give them any points for it. But while the experience at the start was above average, as the bowl wore on the flavor became more and more chemical, and eventually became too much to bear. And keeping in mind we were smoking this out of a phunnel, and the bowl was only about halfway done when we called it, there's a distinct possibility that the flavor would get nastier faster for those of you smoking it out of an egyptian or some such bowl. All in all, a valiant effort, but not quite right.

Peanut Gallery:
(Caroline)
Rum and Coke is alright. They actually nailed the rum flavor, which is kind of impressive—it tastes exactly like having a rum and coke. However, the flavor gets to be a bit much after a while, and I personally do not enjoy smoking it very often. I would much rather drink my rum than smoke it.

Conclusion:
Interesting to try, especially since it's so accurate at the beginning, but it's lack of endurance means we will not likely be buying this again.

B-